10 Characteristics of a Godly Wife | Let's Talk Biblical

If you love talking about the Bible as much as I do, then I think you'll really enjoy this show. Welcome to Let's Talk Biblical, the podcast where we dig deep into the heart of scripture, explore timeless truths, and have real conversations about what the Bible says and how it applies to us. My name is Lex and I want to thank you for joining me on today's episode. So, grab your Bible, get comfortable, and let's talk biblical. All right, today we are going to be talking about godly wives. All right. So whether you are a man looking to find a wife or whether you are a woman looking to become a wife or whether you are already married and you're trying to be a godly wife. Um hopefully this top uh this this video today, this uh teaching today, this podcast will be helpful and um hopefully we will discuss some things that uh maybe you haven't considered before. And so I want to look at 10 characteristics of a godly wife. And these characteristics are seen throughout the Bible in various places. Um, and so let's I want to start actually in uh Proverbs 31. And I know Proverbs 31 is a chapter that is kind of a go-to chapter because it's, you know, it's the chapter about being a virtuous wife. And so there's a lot of great stuff in Proverbs 31. We're going to look at several things in this chapter, but then we're going to go beyond this and look in some other places in scripture as well. Um, so let's go ahead and start in Proverbs 31. And I actually want to start with verse 30. It says, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." All right. So, um, the the central idea of what a godly wife is is that she is a woman who fears the Lord. And so if you are a woman who fears the Lord, then that is um that is the foundation. That is the primary thing uh for becoming a godly wife because everything else is built on that foundation. So if you are if you're not someone who fears the Lord um then the rest of the stuff that we have to talk about today is probably not going to make sense to you and it's probably not going to benefit you because you're not going to be willing um to do those things because you don't actually fear the Lord. And so the things that we talk about today are all based on this first foundation is that you you need to be a woman who fears the Lord. And men, if you're looking for a wife, she needs to you need to find a woman who fears the Lord. Uh because that is very important. And the fear of the Lord is um it's not it's not fear in the sense of fright and terror um like uh you know someone's trying to kill you, that kind of thing. It's it's the same kind of fear that a child has for their parents. Um it's not fear that they're going to kill you, but it's fear that you want to do what's right and please them. It is fear that causes you want to want to obey them. Um and so it's the reverence and the respect that you have for your parents um as a child that you know when they say they ask you to do something you obey them because you fear them uh and and in that sense you respect them you honor them um you want to obey them you want to do what pleases them and that's the same kind of fear of the Lord is it's not that we're terrified that he's going to destroy us it's that we are uh we have such honor respect and reverence for him that we want to obey him and we want to do the things that please him. Um and so uh the foundation of godly womanhood begins with uh her being a faithful disciple of Yeshua and that is tied in with the fear of the Lord. And so uh fearing the Lord is is what causes you to become a a faithful disciple. So you are obedient to him, you faithfully follow him. All right? So then we want to um go to the next one. So number two, so number one was she fears the Lord and number two is going to be found in verse 11. So let me scroll back up here to Proverbs 311. Okay? And it it says, "The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so she will have no lack of gain." Okay? Now, this is, you know, I want you to think about that. The the heart of her husband safely trusts her. What is that? What is that meaning? And so, a godly wife is someone her husband can trust with his whole heart. Um, someone her husband can trust with his home, someone her husband can trust with his finances and with his family, um, and with his future. Okay. So, a woman needs to be someone her husband can trust. And this is this is huge. Um if if a a husband can't trust his wife, um it's going to be really hard to have a good marriage. And so, you need to be someone who is trustworthy. You need to um be someone your husband trusts. And that's trust is gained. Trust is earned. And it's by being trustworthy, you become trusted. If you're a trustworthy person, people will trust you. Um, and so, uh, some things that this looks like is she's a woman who builds up her husband. Um, and she strengthens him and she encourages him, right? Um, she speaks life to him. um you know, you you you trust someone who um who's honest with you and so she needs to be honest with him. Um you know, you wouldn't trust somebody who is constantly belittling you and tearing you down and and berating you and and criticizing you and um speaking unkind words to you. You you you don't trust somebody like that. That they're hurting you, right? Okay. So, if you are constantly attacking and belittling and slandering and um criticizing and things like that, it's going to be hard for your husband to trust you. And if you know, for the men, if if you're, you know, there's a woman in your life that you're dating or whatever, you're thinking about marriage, look at these things. Is is she someone who you can trust? Is she speaking life to you or is she tearing you down? Um and so those are things that are important. Um, another thing is is this woman for him to trust her, he needs to see that she is his helper, not his rival. Okay? Um, if she is constantly competing with him, then he's not going to trust her. He's going to feel like she's in competition with him. if they're arguing about things, if if she's trying to oneup him, if she's trying to outdo him, um, you know, if she's if she's trying to show herself as better than him, you know, that she's putting on some sort of competition and that's going to make it hard for him to trust her. Um, he needs to see her as his partner, as his helper. Um, and that's really important. So women, you need to make sure that your husband sees you as a helper, as a partner, as someone he can trust. Um, and this also means you don't manipulate. Um, you you're not passive aggressive. You're not bitter towards him. Um, you you show steadfast love and support and encouragement towards your husband. Okay. women who are man manipulative. Um they're trying to always say things to get to get him to do what they want. Um it's hard to trust a woman like that. Don't be manipulative. Um and you know passive aggression is just a form of manipulation. And so, um, you know, when you're, you know, interacting with your your your spouse, you need to be truthful and, um, loving and kind and not trying to manipulate the situation. Just be honest. Just, you know, if if there's something that he's doing you don't like, just say, "Hey, I, you know, I really don't like it when you do this." You don't need to manipulate him about it. If there's something you would like him to do, just say, "Hey, I would like you to do this. You don't need to manipulate him about it. It's so much better if you're just honest and open and uh clear in your expectations." And so many times in marriage, there are problems because people aren't clear about their expectations. And so, you know, just have have an open, honest conversation about stuff. You know, this is what I would like you to do. This is what I don't want you to do. this is I like it when you do this, I don't like it when you do that. If you're just clear and open and honest about those things, um there's no unmet expectations and you don't have to feel like you need to manipulate them to do something or not to do something. So, just be open and honest as much as you can, but do it in love and kindness. All right. Now, we're going to go to verse 13. And verse 13 says, "She seeks wool and flax and willingly works with her hands." Okay, so this shows us that she is not idle. She is uh productive and um she, you know, we go on and we can we can continue reading and it talks about how uh actually let me just go ahead and and read some more because there's more to this. Um she's like the merchant ship. She brings her food from afar. Uh she also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household a and a portion for her maid servants. Um she considers a field and buys it from her profit. She plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the daff and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor. Yes. Reaches out her hand to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates. Uh when she's when he sits among the elders of the land, she makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing. She she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is a law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Okay, so um we see this woman is she's not idle. She's not lazy. She's not passive. Um she's very active. She's very involved. She she's always doing something. She's busy. um she's working hard for her family. And so this this could be a woman who is a stay-at-home mom. I'm going to give a couple scenarios here. Could be a woman who's a stay at home mom, but she doesn't just sit around all day watching TV. She's busy. She's cleaning house. She's uh you know, teaching the kids. She's um cooking food. She's uh doing laundry. Um she's going shopping. She's you know, she's busy. She's doing stuff. and she's providing for her family. She's not uh, you know, just sitting on the couch watching television. She's she's busy and she's working hard to provide and take care of her family. Or what if she's a uh a working uh a person who works and has a job? Well, then she's she's going to work and she's earning money to provide for the family and she's taking care of her family that way. And then when she gets off work, she comes home and she does the the things that she didn't get to do at home during the day while she was working. And so she stays busy working. She's not lazy. This is important. Um and the Bible talks about how um idleness, idle hands and things like that leads towards um women who are busy bodies and gossips. And so if if you're not busy at home, you're going to become busybody. You're going to become a gossip. You're going to get involved in other people's business. And you need to stay out of other people's business and just stick to what stick stay in your lane. Stick to your business. Um and you know, someone who is idol and a busy body or yeah, idol and a busy body. Um that's not qualities of a godly wife. Uh someone who's a gossip and being involved in everybody's business. That is not the quality of a godly wife. A godly wife is one who uh takes care of her family and is busy providing for her family and caring for the needs of her home. And she's not worried about uh getting in other people's business and trying to gossip and trying to um uh you know just just uh being a busy body. She's busy. She's not a busy body. And she's busy. She's not idle. Okay. Um, and so she's diligent, resourceful, and proactive. She's one who takes charge. You know, it says she she sees a field and buys it. You know, she's she's taking charge. She's she's proactive. She is taking initiative and she's not just waiting around for her husband to say, "Hey, woman, you need to do the dishes." Okay? Um, she doesn't need her husband to tell her what to do. Because she's she's already doing it. She's already being proactive about it. This is a godly wife. Um, she watches over the ways of her household. She takes care of her children. She makes sure that her family is fed and clothed and they don't have to worry about being cold in the winter and things like that. Um, so she's she's taking care of their food and their clothing and things like that and managing the household well. Um, and she doesn't waste time or complain about her role because she understands she's doing a ministry and she is a steward of what God has entrusted to her. Okay? So, this is this is important. As a mother and a wife, you are doing ministry. You are ministering to your family and you are a steward of the things that are in your realm. Uh, the things of your household. They are in your stewardship. And so you need to be a good steward of those things. And that's part of what Proverbs 31 is talking about is being a good steward of what God has entrusted you with. Um, but the principle here is that a godly wife takes initiative. She works hard and she creates value and she serves her family with joy. Okay. All right. So now number four, we're going to jump over to Ephesians now. and Ephesians chapter 5. And everybody knows where I'm going with this one probably. Um because this is the uh a very well-known passage of scripture. And so we're going to go in here and we're going to look at verse 22 and 23. It says, "Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church. and he is the savior of the body. Okay. So wives submit to your husbands as to the lord. So uh a wife who submits willingly and honors her husband. This is very valuable in the eyes of a husband. Um think about what's the opposite of submitting. Well that's contention. That's argument. That's someone who is opposing. someone who is um fighting against. And so when you think about submission is is going alongside is is coming along with is uh moving together. You are holding hands in partnership and going in the same direction. That is submitting. The opposite of submitting is fighting is going against is argument, quarrel, u debate, um tension. Those are the opposite. And so a woman who is walking alongside her husband, going with him and as a partner and as a helper, that is so valuable to a husband. Um, submission is not about inferiority. Um, it's about order and design and trust. Okay? God has established order and God has established that the man is the head of the house and that the woman is the helper to the head. she is the helpmate. And so we see in Genesis when God created woman, you know, he said, "It's not good that man's alone." And so I'm going to make him a helper suitable for him. And so he pulled the woman out of his rib, out of his side. It's because she's meant to be at his side and she, you know, she's like a rib that she protects his heart and she is close to him. Okay. the, you know, the the idea that, you know, she is from his chest, she is from his um his bosom, she is close to him, she is his uh close partner. And so um the the picture of that is is a very beautiful picture. And um you know, but God didn't pull her from his foot so that he could squish her. Okay? God pulled her from his side so that he could hold her close. But he didn't pull her from his head so she could dominate him either. And so it's the the idea is that she is from his side because she is his partner. She is his helper. She is his companion. Um but biblical submission is voluntary. Okay? It's uh it's it's your choice. It is it's about um saying I will I will voluntarily submit. It's not it's not about him ruling over you and lording over you and saying you you bow down to me. You're you're my slave. It's not kind of it's not that kind of thing. It's you're my partner and I want you to come alongside me and and partner with me in this project, in this endeavor, in this thing and you come alongside him and you partner with him. Does that mean you um agree with everything he says and does? No, it doesn't. Um, but you were there to help. You were there to encourage. You were there to support. You were there to um walk beside him. You're not to oppose him. You are not his enemy. Um, you are not his his competition. You are his partner. Okay. Um, and something we also need to remember is that um, you know, the idea, actually, we're going to get into this in a little bit, but the idea that that you're his partner, you're his helper, um, is tied to God being our helper and that the Holy Spirit is our helper, right? And so to to say that if God is our helper is a good thing, is it not a good thing to say that the wife is the helper to the husband? Um it's an honoring role to be called the helper. Um but we also need to remember that Ephesians 5 also speaks to men and it tells men to love their wives the way that Christ loved the church. And so as the these two things work together, love and respect work together. And so the wife honors her husband, respects her husband, submits to her husband. That is showing respect to her husband. The husband loves his wife, cherishes his wife, um nurtures his wife, and um is is there to provide and protect and care for his wife. That love and respect work together. And so, um it's hard to love somebody who doesn't respect you. And it's hard to respect somebody who doesn't love you. And so, both partners need to be doing their part. Um and both and when when the husband is loving the wife and the wife is respecting the husband, then uh marriage becomes a beautiful picture. Um and it it portrays what God intended it to to do. And in the same way that that Christ loved the church and that the church submits to and honors and respects Christ, those those work together. And when you think about um when it comes down to what are the problems that many people struggle with in marriage, oftentimes it comes down to these two things. And the the husband says, "Well, I just don't feel like she respects me." And the wife says, "I just don't feel like he loves me." Those are typically things that you'll hear. And the reason is because men crave respect especially from their wife and women crave love especially from their husband. And that's it's part of how God created us and that's what we need. And that's it's by God's design so that those things function correctly. Um and and so but what we see here is that she is honoring her husband. She's respecting him. And I want to jump over to Proverbs 31 and look at what it says there. because it says something really interesting in verse 23. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. Okay, so why is him being respected at the gates a credit for the wife? It say, you know, this talking about a virtuous wife and it says that her husband is known and respected at the gates among the elders. And so this is seen as a credit to the wife, a a good respected man is a credit to the wife that saying that she is an honorable wife, that she is a godly wife, that she is a virtuous wife because her husband is honored. And I think that should speak volumes. Um, how how often do you find a a well-known, wellrespected man who has a wife who is a monster and she treats people terribly and she um, you know, she's she's causing problems and contention and she's slandering her husband and she's gossiping and she's um, you know, she's always trying to pick fights with her husband. Well, that that doesn't lend to his credibility. When a woman acts like that, that actually depreciates his value and his credibility among other people because they say, "Man, he seems like a great guy, but his wife, she's a monster. She's terrible, you know, and and so they they look down on him because he married her." Um, but if you know if they see him and you know he's a he's an honorable man, he's respectable and then they see her and she's also honorable and respectable and she is uh kind and and loving and and uh patient and a good mother and she's she's um a godly woman who who uh loves the Lord and she fears God and she is um she's modest and and all the all the things that we're going to look at. You know, they see these things And that is a credit to him. And he is even, you know, he's even more respected because his wife is such a godly woman. And so it's a credit to both of them. It's a credit to him that she's godly and it's credit to her that he's godly and he's respected. Um, Proverbs 12, just going to tack onto this a little bit more. Proverbs 12:4 says, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottness in his bones." Okay, so um a good wife is a crown to her husband. She is um something that exalts him, something that makes him honored, something that makes him um respected. And um a good wife honors her husband. She never she never speaks badly about him. She doesn't go to her friends and say, "Oh man, you you wouldn't believe what horrible thing my husband did to me the other day, or what horrible thing he said the other day, or she's not gossiping about him. She's not slandering about him. She's not talking badly about him to other people. Okay? She she doesn't want him to be seen negatively in other people's eyes. Now, she may she may have uh those feelings towards him. She may think, "Oh, man, that was a horrible thing for you to say, but she keeps it to herself. She doesn't go blab to other people. Um she may not like something he did, but she doesn't go slander him to other people and say, you know, my husband did this horrible thing." She wants him to be honored. She wants him to be respected. And so she uh she doesn't slander him. She doesn't talk badly about him. And I've I've met women who do this. I've met women who talk badly about their husbands and they're always belittling them to other people and talking badly about them to other people. And it's it's a horrible thing to see a woman badmouth her husband to somebody else. It's it's um it's not a godly thing to do. And so if you if you want to be a godly woman, you've got to learn not to talk badly about your husband to other people. Um and uh her influence elevates his leadership, right? So she is a godly woman and she speaks well of him and that just makes people love him even more. Um, okay. And then let's go to uh Proverbs 31 again. And we're going to look at uh verse 26. Now, she opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. All right? So, she speaks with wisdom and kindness. Okay? A go a godly a godly wife is not harsh. She's not critical. Um, her words are measured. Her words have wisdom to them. Her words are full of kindness and grace. Um, she doesn't tear down her husband or gossip about him. We already mentioned that. U, but she guards her mouth and she speaks life to her husband and about her husband. Okay? She's she's not tearing him down. She's building him up. Uh, she's not belittling him. She's encouraging him. And you know, she understands that her words can bring life or death to her husband. She understands that her words can build him up or tear him down. And she wants to build him up. She wants to speak life to him. Uh that's a godly wife. That's a godly woman. If you are constantly tearing down your husband and belittling him and criticizing him and um you know telling him how how bad he is and how wrong he is all the time. um that's going to make it really hard for him to love you. But if you were speaking life to him and you were speaking kindness to him and you were encouraging him and building him up and strengthening him and um speaking well of him and and speaking words of affirmation to him, uh then he's going to have it's going to be easy for him to love you and uh you know it's just it's going to make a huge impact on your marriage. And but that's what a godly wife does is she speaks life to her husband. Um and she speaks kindness. Her words are kind. They're not they're not her words are not swords meant to to harm and cause damage. Her words are meant to bring life and peace and joy. Okay? Uh grace is on her tongue. Okay? uh your words. A godly wife understands that her words can build her husband up or they can tear him down. And she chooses to build him up even when she could tear him down. Okay, that's that's what makes a woman a godly wife because even when um when she should or could tear him down uh because of something he said or did uh that was wrong, instead of tearing him down, instead of criticizing him, she she chooses to speak life to him. And so, you know, that may be that you give him um a word of direction or instruction, but it's done in kindness. It's done in grace. It's not critical, and it's not cutting. Okay? You can choose how you how you do this. And so, um you know, you don't go to him and you say, "Man, you're you're such a stupid idiot. You screwed this up." No, that that's tearing him down. You say, "Well, that didn't go so well, did it?" Um, that's okay. I still love you and you can learn from this. And what what can we get out of this? You know, you can learn that, well, that was probably not the right thing to do or that was not the right thing to say. And so, next time you can do better. And, you know, just gently encourage in your correction. encourage right behavior. Instead of criticizing and belittling for wrong behavior, encourage right behavior, okay? Um and and make sure it's with grace and kindness. And reassure him that you love him even though this happened or you know he said or did this. reassure him that that you um that you love him and so that he can trust that you will be here even even when things are hard, even when things don't go well. Um and that's something that so many times in marriage uh you know, we see that when things get rough, one or both partners start throwing around the divorce word and they you know, if if things don't get better, I'm going to divorce you. threatening divorce is not going to fix anything. It's just going to make it worse. It's going to compound it. Uh because now they don't feel safe because you threaten divorce. Now they feel like, well, if I screw up again, they're just going to leave me. That doesn't make a safe environment for marriage. Um that makes an environment where trust is not easily found. Um it makes an environment where you don't feel you don't feel secure. and loved. Excuse me, I've got a scratch in my throat. Um, and so a godly wife chooses her words carefully and she makes sure they're full of wisdom and kindness. Um, all right. Now, uh, Proverbs 31:25, strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice rejoice in time to come. Okay? She's clothed in strength and honor. Okay? This is a woman who she's not weak. She's not passive. She's not wimpy. She's strong and and she has a strength about her. And it's not necessarily physical strength. You know, it's not that she she has muscles, but that she has a strength of character. Um, and she has strength in her emotions and she has strength in her spirit. Um, she carries herself with dignity. Um, she's not seeking attention. She's not um self-conscious. She's not uh belittling herself. She's not thinking of herself as less than. She doesn't think of herself as inferior. She has a confidence in who she is knowing that she is a daughter of the king. that she is a daughter of God, a child of God, and she has confidence in knowing who he is in her life, and she has strength because she is trusting in the Lord. She has strength because she is following the leading of the Holy Spirit. Um, and so she she's not um she's not belittling herself. She's not looking down herself. She has strength. She understands who she is and she walks in dignity and confidence but not in arrogance. Um and so she she is humble in her strength. She is humble in her confidence. Um and so she knows who she is. She is a daughter of the king. She is a child of God. Um she doesn't act foolishly. All right. So this you know she she acts with wisdom and purpose. And you can tell when someone is um insecure versus when someone is confident. And it's not about um it's not about the things they say. It's not that they tell you, "Oh, I'm I'm a confident person. I'm assured of myself." That's not necessary. If they're confident, you don't have they don't have to tell you anything. You just know they're confident. You know that they have a a strength about them. and how they carry themsel and how they interact with others. They they interact uh without self-awareness. Um they just jump in and and get involved and do it. That that's confidence. Um and they have purpose. They're intentional. um they they they have their focus on what they're doing and they do that. They're not easily distracted. Um and so this woman, she reflects the character of someone who knows her value, she knows her worth, and she knows that her husband loves her, and she knows that her husband trusts her. and she knows that she is um that she is loved by God and that God is with her and he's on her side. Um and it doesn't matter what the world says to her or about her. Um because she didn't care what the world thinks. She only cares what God thinks and what her husband thinks. Um, and as far as that goes, her husband's opinion is even less important in this matter also because what God thinks is more important. Um, and so if her husband thinks poorly of her, that doesn't even matter to her because she knows who she is in God's eyes and she has value in God's eyes even if even if her husband doesn't value her. Okay. This is the kind of strength that a godly woman has. All right. Now, we go to Genesis 2. And I already kind of touched on this a little bit, but I want to um I want to go ahead and go a little further with it. Okay. So, and the Lord God said, "It is not good that a man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him." Okay. So here we see that the wife is a helper. She's not um she's not an enemy. She's not a competitor. She's a helper. Okay. The Hebrew word helper here is Ezar. Okay. And it's the same you it's the same word used to describe how God helps us all throughout the Bible. And so God is descri described as our helper. And here God is describing woman as man's helper. And so if God is our helper, then uh wife should be honored to be called a helper because it's comparing you with God. God's role in our lives is as a helper sometimes. And a a wife's role in the life of a husband is as a helper. And so you being a helper to your husband is embodying godliness. It's embodying the character of God. Okay? Um, it's not a lesser role. It's a position of strength and support and purpose. Okay? And it's it's God's design for you as a wife. It's what God designed you to do. And so, you need to walk in the role that God has designed for you as a wife, as a helper, as a mother. Um, you are there to be a partner to your husband, to help him along the way, to to point him in the right direction, to draw him closer to God, to encourage him in his walk with God, to encourage him to make good decisions. Um, part of being a helper is to help him accomplish what God has for him. Okay? It's not so that you can help him accomplish evil. is so that you can help him accomplish God's will. And so you're there to help encourage him to follow the Lord, to help lead him, to help guide him, to help direct him to the Lord so that he will follow the Lord. Um, and so you you stand beside him and you point him in the right direction. Now, that's where Eve went wrong. Okay? Eve listened to the serpent and she took from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and then she gave that to her husband. She caused him to sin. That's not the role of the helper. You're not there to cause your husband to sin to to lead him in sinful ways to to you're not there to um help him sin. You're there to help him do what's right. And so what he should have done is said, "Oh, no, no. Uh God told us not to do that. I'm not going to do that. Um, and her husband also should have done the same. He should have said to Eve, "Oh, no, no. God didn't. God told us not to do that. We shouldn't do that." Um, the problem is women have influence over their husbands. And that was what we see happen with Adam is that the woman had influence over her husband. And you need to understand as a woman, as a as as a wife, you have a lot of influence over your husband. And you need to make sure that you are influencing him in the right way and influencing him to follow the Lord and to to seek righteousness and godliness and holiness. Um but do it through kindness and love. And that's the role of a helper. Um and you're not there to control him, though. You're there to encourage him and to pray for him and and to be a partner to him. Um, you're not there to compete with him. You are there to help him. And uh, Proverbs 14. Now, this is number eight. The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Okay. So, a godly wife is intentional about the the atmosphere of her home. She's intentional about building her house. When I say home or house, I'm not just meaning the the physical building. I'm talking about uh everything about the home, the the family, um you know, the the environment that the family lives in. Is it a peaceful home? Is it a joyful home? Is it a home where holiness and righteousness is taught and encouraged and lived out? Um, is it a home where uh trust and truth and and life is being spoken? Is it a house where um where there's open communication and um encouragement and love between members of the family. uh she is building her house well and she's building her house on the word of God. She's building her house on scripture. She's building her house on faith in Yeshua. Um she's building a godly home. And so the woman builds her house. A wise woman builds her house. She she strengthens her house. She builds it up. She she makes it better. But a foolish one pulls it down. Okay. So what does it mean to pull it down? Okay. Are you um are you damaging your relationship to your husband with the things that you say and do? Are you damaging your relationship with your children with the things that you say and do? That's that's how you tear it down. You know, if you want to if you want to tear down a marriage, um it's really easy. You just start uh you know, saying horrible things to to your husband or your wife. and uh you do that long enough and your marriage is going to be over. If you want to tear down and destroy the relationship with your your children, you just start saying horrible things to them, treating them badly, um neglecting them, ignoring them, um criticizing them, do things like that and they'll they'll guarantee to hate you. You know, it's it's really easy to destroy a house, but it takes intention and purpose and work to build it and to strengthen it and to keep it. And and that's done by intentionally speaking wisdom and intentionally speaking love and intentionally speaking um encouragement. Okay? A wise woman builds her house up. She strengthens it. But a fool tears it down. Don't be the foolish wife who tears your house down. Um, building your house up also is about uh nurturing faith and peace and love in your family and in your home. It's about disciplining your children with love and and grace and patience. Um, it's about speaking life to your husband and your children. And it's about serving them with humility and honor. Um, no one is expecting perfection. Um, this isn't, you know, how to be a perfect wife. It's it's how to be a godly wife. And godly people make mistakes. We see throughout the Bible all the most godly people in the Bible made mistakes. And so, you're going to make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up about it. But just learn from your mistake and do better next time. Um, and and the building your house up is about surrendering to God's will and doing what pleases him. Um, and actively pursuing pursuing him, pursuing righteousness, pursuing the things that please him. All right. Number nine, a godly wife is modest. This is 1 Peter 3 wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands that even if some do not obey the word they without a word may be one by the conduct of their wives. Okay. So, he's speaking to um uh wives who have a husband who may not be a believer or a husband who may not be following God and he's giving advice to them and he's telling telling you to submit to your husband still even if he doesn't obey the word even if he doesn't obey God's God's word because he may be one over and become a believer and a follower of God because of your conduct. Okay. So this is the advice he's giving. And so uh that even if some do not obey, they without a word may be one by the conduct of their wives. When they observe your chasteed conduct accompanied by fear and this is talking about the fear of the fear of God. Do not let your adornment be merely outward arranging of the hair, wearing of gold or putting on fine apparel. So don't let your adornment just be outwardly. Um don't just try to beautify the outside. Rather, let it be hidden the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God. Okay. So, um, modesty. I I chose modesty for this um because it's talking about being the adorment of the inner person, not the outward person. And so you can be modest on the outside and beautiful on the inside, right? You can be plain on the outside and and and glowing and gorgeous on the inside. Um and so you know you can be homely on the outside and be beautiful on the inside. Okay. So the inward beauty is much more important to focus on than the outward beauty. And we live in a world where uh women are constantly uh being being sold beauty products. You know, you need this makeup, you need this hairstyle, you need this jewelry, you need this clothing. All these things are done to try to beautify the outside, you know, and even pushing surgery, you know, pla various plastic surgeries to be done to enhance your out outer beauty. That's not what a godly woman seeks after, though. She's not seeking after outward beauty. She's seeking after inward beauty. Now, it's it's not saying you you need to be ugly or homely. That's not his point. He's saying don't focus on the outward beauty. Focus on the inward beauty. Um and so, uh modesty isn't just about clothing. Um it's about our attitude, how we walk in humility and gentle gentleness and self-control. Okay. Modesty is about um how we interact with other people. Um you're not arrogant, you're humble, you're you're not um harsh or cruel, you're gentle and kind. Um you're not quick-tempered and uh or or um give quickly into temptation. But you you have self-control and you are um you're calculated and controlled and precise in your behavior. You are disciplined. Um the inner beauty is a heart posture. Okay? It's it's it's how your heart is postured towards God and how your heart is postured towards your husband. Um and and it's It's a a beautiful submission to God's authority and God's um provision. Um outward beauty is superficial and fleeting but inward beauty is what has lasting uh value. Right? And so you know um the Bible talks about how beauty is vain, beauty is fleeting and it this outward beauty is you know it's here today and gone tomorrow. You know you may be the most you know beautiful um model or uh beauty contest winner in the world. You know, you may you may have won awards and prizes and trophies for your outward beauty, but at some point you're going to get old. At some point you're going to get wrinkled. At some point you're going to get gray. You may get fat. You may lose some of your hair. You may grow hair in places that you don't like. Um, your teeth may fall out. All kinds of things can happen to your outward beauty. Your outward beauty can go away really quickly. You could get into a car wreck and get your face smashed and it destroyed. You could get fall into a fire and be burned and your and your skin be torched and and and damaged. Uh you could be attacked by dogs and and and your face be marred up and scarred. There's all kinds of things that can happen to your outward beauty. It doesn't last. It's not permanent. It can it can go away very quickly. But the inward beauty, that's the one that's important to focus on because people can't can't steal that from you. People can't destroy that. Inward beauty, you don't lose in a car wreck. Inward beauty, you don't lose uh in a fire. Inward beauty, you don't lose when you're attacked and mauled by dogs. Inward beauty doesn't fade with age. Inner in inner beauty doesn't gain wrinkles. Inner beauty doesn't get fat and ugly. Inner beauty doesn't grow hair in weird places. Okay? Inner beauty is beauty that that lasts and that's about your character and that's about your love and that's about your peace and that's about your joy. It's about the the fruit of the spirit being cultivated inside of you. That's the inner beauty. Um the next thing which ties in with inner beauty is that she is content and thankful. This is number 10. Okay, this is the last one on my list and this is 1 Timothy 6 and verse 6. Now godliness with contentment is great gain. Okay. godliness with contentment is great gain. And so being content is extremely important and considered godly. Um and then 1 Thessalonians 5 and verse 8 18. In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Okay. So in everything give thanks. Uh so a godly wife resists the uh the temptation of discontentment. She resists the pull of discontentment and the the natural inclination to try to compare herself or what she has with someone else or what they have. Okay. A godly wife is content. She she's content with what God has given her. She knows that God um that God is in control and that God has given her the family she has. God has given her the house she has. God has given her uh the financial situation she has. God has given her all that she has and she's content with that. And she's not seeking and coveting what someone else has. And this is this is something that's um I think very important to to understand is that godliness is linked with contentment. Being content whatever your circumstance Paul says I've learned to be content no matter what my circumstance is whether uh wellfed or hungry whether uh in prison or free whether um you know in in tribulation or you know when things are going well. He, you know, in whatever the circumstance, you know, he he gives all these back and forth arguments about, you know, whether um, you know, some things are going good or whether things are going bad, I I'm content because I he trusts in the Lord. And that's the way we need to be is we need to be content no matter what the circumstance. Be content because we're trusting the Lord. And this is tied in with patience as well because so many times we get impatient with our circumstance. And oh, how long, oh Lord, am I going to have to be in this situation? That's discontentment. We need to learn how to be content no matter what circumstance we're in and trust the Lord through it and say, "You know what, God? You got me here for a reason. I'm going to trust you through it and I'm going to be content knowing that you you placed me here for a reason and I'm going to rejoice in this. I'm going to celebrate in this and and know that that you are you are in control and that you have my best at heart. And so, you know, maybe he has you going through this difficult time to show you a lesson. Maybe has you going through this difficult time so that you can empathize with someone else. Um, you know, there's there's probably hundreds of reasons why you might be going through something. Trust the Lord that he knows what he's doing. Um, and a godly wife gives thanks. She's thankful in all all circumstances. And so, it's in everything give thanks. It's not just when things are good, give thanks. It's in everything give thanks. And so being being thankful and everything, you know, um your husband lost his job. Be thankful that he had a job. Be thankful that he can get another one. Be thankful that you have a husband. There's all kinds of reasons to be thankful. You don't have to be thankful that he lost his job, but you can be thankful for what you do have. Um, you know, you're you had to spend a bunch of money on clothing because your kid outgrew their clothing. Be thankful that you have a kid. Be thankful that you had money to spend on clothing. Be thankful that you were able to provide for your kids clothing. There's all kinds of things to be thankful for. Um but just look for reasons to be thankful. And so a woman who is content and thankful doesn't um complain about what she lacks and she doesn't resent her role or or what she has or what she doesn't have. Um she is grounded and anchored in gratitude. Okay. She is uh she has a solid foundation to stand on because she is thankful because she is grateful to God. And gratitude to God is a fantastic place to to be because you can be joyful in many circumstances if you learn how to have gratitude and be content. That's where joy and peace come from is knowing how to have gratitude and and thankful and uh contentment. Okay. Um, okay. So, a godly woman is content in every situation and she is thankful in all circumstances. That is part of a godly wife. And so, um, let me go ahead and just review all 10 of these real quick. Um, a godly wife fears the Lord. Number one. Number two, she is trustworthy. A trustworthy partner. Okay, her husband can trust her. Uh, number three, she is industrious and not idol. she is a hard worker. Uh number four, she submits willingly and honors her husband. Number five, she speaks with wisdom and kindness. Number six, she is clothed with strength and dignity. Okay, she uh she's not belittling herself and thinking poorly of herself, but she has strength and dignity um and strong character. She is number seven. She is a godly wife is a helper um not an enemy or a competitor. She's a helper. Uh, number eight, a godly wife builds her home. She doesn't tear it down. She builds it up. And a go. Number nine, a godly wife is modest and respectful. She has inner beauty. A godly wife has inner beauty. And number 10, she is content and thankful. Okay, so there there are the the 10 top 10 um reasons or top 10 characteristics of a godly wife. Um, and so, uh, hopefully that was helpful. Um, and I know, uh, again, I didn't have time for Q&A. And also, I'm I'm mentioning now, um, if you didn't notice, tonight I did a membersonly chat. Um, I'm going to go back to doing the live streams as members only. And so, if you want to participate in future live streams, uh, they're going to be members only. Um, and I'm going to try to do uh, you know, at least every every few weeks I'm going to do a dedicated Q&A because I know whenever I get into these topics and I get long, I don't always have time for a Q&A at the end. And so, um, I'm going to every every so often I'm going to do a dedicated Q&A where the whole video is just answering questions. And so I may do that once a month or so probably. Um, and so be looking forward to that. But um I've decided to go ahead and make these members only. So if you want to be a part of the chat, uh you need to sign up and be a member and you'll be able to participate in the chat. Um let's talk about next week. And so this week we talked about what it is to be a godly wife. And so next week we're going to talk about what it is to be a godly husband. Um and so I hope I hope this was helpful this week. And I hope next week will be helpful as well. Um, thank you for joining me uh tonight and I will and I look forward to seeing you next week. All right, thanks guys. Have a good night. Thank you for joining me on Let's Talk Biblical. If you enjoyed this episode, then share it with your friends and keep the conversation going. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss anything. And I look forward to chatting with you again next week. Until next time, keep talking biblical. Shalom.