Why Your View of Love is Wrong

What does the Bible say about Love? It's time to UNLEARN the lies. UNLEARN Hey, welcome to UNLEARN. My name is Lex, and I'd like to invite you to join us each week as we UNLEARN the lies and dig deeper into the truth of God's Word. Now, let's get started. Christian’s often quote the Scripture that says, “love fulfills the law”, but what exactly does that mean? The word love seems to mean something different depending on who you are talking to. People speak about falling in love like it’s a hole, and falling out of love like it’s an airplane. People talk about making love in the same way they might speak about making a cake, and some people talk about how much they love cake. The Bible says we are to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love our neighbor as ourselves. It also says to love our enemies, but what exactly does that mean? How do we love God? How do we love our neighbor? How do we love our enemies? The Bible also speaks about husbands and wives loving each other. Is this love simply a reference to having good emotional feelings about someone, or is it talking about something else? The modern understanding of the word love has to do with an intense feeling of deep affection, or romantic and sexual attachment to someone, or having a deep interest and taking pleasure in something. The focus is on feelings, emotion, and desire. The Bible commands us to love others, but can you command someone to have a feeling of affection toward someone else? How does this work when we look at the command to love our enemies? “You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?” - Matthew 5:43-46 Notice when He says, “love your enemy”, He explains what that means by saying, “bless them, do good to them, and pray for them”. He makes no mention about emotion, but goes directly to the action. You’ve probably heard the phrase “love is a verb”, indicating that love is something you do, not something you feel. When Yeshua said, “love your enemy”, He was not talking about emotions and feelings, He was talking about how we treat them. We are expected to treat them in loving ways. This is a problem I often see in marriages as well. The man might say something like, “I just don’t love her anymore.” To which I respond, “exactly, that’s your problem, you’re not loving your wife the way you’re commanded to love her.” The Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” - Ephesians 5:25-29 The love that a husband is commanded to give to his wife has nothing to do with how he feels about her. Feelings change. Emotions go up and down, but we are commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the Church. This is a self-sacrificing love. This is a love that’s displayed in our actions not our emotions. Are you acting in loving ways toward your wife? Are you speaking to her in love? Are you loving your wife the way that Messiah loves you? So, when a man tells me he doesn’t love his wife anymore, I tell him that’s the problem, and he needs to fix that. The Bible gives us a very compelling description of what real love looks like. “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 We are commanded to love our neighbors, love our enemies, and love God. In fact, our Messiah taught that to love God is the greatest commandment. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?" Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." - Matthew 22:36-40 We understand that we are expected and commanded to love God, but what does that mean? Listen to what God says in His own words. “…For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.” - Exodus 20:5-6 God equates love with obedience, and this is something that’s repeated numerous times in the Bible, but for the sake of time and to avoid too much repetition, I am simply going to reference a few examples of this. “Therefore you shall love the Lord your God, and keep His charge, His statutes, His judgments, and His commandments always…” - Deuteronomy 11:1 “… to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess.” - Deuteronomy 30:16 “that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days…” - Deuteronomy 30:20 However, this is not simply an Old Testament concept. This exact same understanding is presented throughout the New Testament as well. “Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.” - 1 John 2:3-6 “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.” - 1 John 5:2-3 “This is love, that we walk according to His commandments…” - 2 John 1:6 This is the Biblical definition of what it means to love God. If we love God, we will obey His commandments. As the Apostle John said, “this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments, and His commandments are not burdensome.” Yeshua said the Greatest commandment is to love God, but He added that the second is like it, that we love our neighbor as ourself, and He explained that all of the law and prophets hang on these two commandments. So, how do all of the commandments hang on these two commandments to love God and love our neighbor? The Apostle Paul explains it this way. “Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith” - 1 Timothy 1:5 He said the purpose of the commandment is love. The purpose of the Torah is love. This is why all of the law hangs on the commandment to love God and love others. This is also why Paul explains that love is the fulfillment of the Law. “Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery," "You shall not murder," "You shall not steal," "You shall not bear false witness," "You shall not covet," and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” - Romans 13:8-10 God’s Law teaches us how to love. That’s the purpose of the commandments. God is love, and He wants to teach us how to love one another. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” - 1 John 4:7-8 Loving God is equated with obeying Him. We are also told that if we love God, we will love one another, and that love is the fulfillment of the Law, but James takes it one step further when he says, “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you do well; but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all. For He who said, "Do not commit adultery," also said, "Do not murder." Now if you do not commit adultery, but you do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty.” - James 2:8-12 James is telling us that we must love according to the law, and that we need to live as those who will be judged by the law. He says we need to walk according to the law completely, and not stumble in even one area. This makes sense when we understand that the law teaches us how to love God and others, and we are commanded to love in these ways. The Apostle John also had this to say about it. “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” - 1 John 3:14-18 John again emphasizes the fact that love is not simply an emotion, but that it’s something we do. He illustrates his point with the example of how seeing someone in need and not helping them, proves that the love of God does not abide in that you. We love others by how we treat them. We love others by walking in God’s commandments because His commandments teach us how to love. Yeshua said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments… He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him… If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father's who sent Me.” - John 14:15,21-24 So, if you love Him, keep His commandments. SHARE THE TRUTH UNLEARN THE LIES Thanks for watching. If you found this video helpful then share it with your friends and family so they can UNLEARN the lies with us. 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